Happy First Day at CSX!

So this morning is DCS's first day of work over at the train. I am so proud of him that my chest literally feels swollen. Since I woke up this morning, all I wanted to do was to call him and wish him good luck on his first day and tell him how proud of him I am. But I can't because of all the mess.

So after I get to work myself, he calls. I totally forgot that I wasn't supposed to take his calls, that I was supposed to be giving him space and figuring out life for myself and all the other advice from well meaning friends, and answered it. And then remembered. Drat! But it gave me a chance to tell him how proud I am of him and the "good luck"s for a first day of his career.

He asked to call me tonight.

He called me baby.

He had a nice tone of voice.

Did he somehow hear that I had a decent day, a day that I didn't cry (much)?

I don't want to talk to him if he is just going to rehash all the same things...again.

That painful flash of hope just lit up in my stomach when I heard his voice, his tone, his "baby," his request to call later tonight. I don't want to set myself up just to be torn down again by him. And I fear that I am.

I am so proud of him and his placement and want very much for him to fall in love with his new career. He will be great at it. CSX is very lucky to have him on board.