That's Irony, Baby

So, I just realized yesterday that I am a a week and a half late for my .

Just when you think you have all that you can possibly deal with, life throws some more. I just got off BC, but we were being smart and safe. Wouldn't it be (and there certainly isn't a word strong enough for this) ironic if I was preggers right after the man I love tells me he doesn't care enough for me right now.

A whole array of interesting thoughts came yesterday. Man, this will really change things in my life. If I was to have a baby, I would only want to have David's. Should I tell DCS? How could I not tell him? Would I give him DCS's last name or mine? Would I be able to raise our baby alone? I would never want DCSto feel "trapped," so maybe it would be better not to tell him. Not that he is talking to me right now to be able to tell him. Not that this is something you tell someone over the phone. This isn't the situation I want to have DCS's baby in, I would have rather it be in the strength of our relationship, not the aftermath. But I did decide that if this is happening, I will keep him. I wouldn't/won't abort DCS's baby.

I was surprised about how happy the thought of DCS's baby made me (scared too).
Easiest thing would to go get tested, right? Or do a drugstore test.... but I can't do that right now. I am going to let it ride for a bit. I need to get some things straight in my head first, you know?

So on the off chance that this really is a thing, I am eating again - no reason to starve a fetus. 5 days off, wonder how getting back on will feel...