POV
So parts of me know everything you have said have said about DCS, gentle reader, are true. And part of me knows that they are this phase he is trying on. I do know that if I was to hear of a friend being treated (an letting herself be treated) like that I would balk and encourage here to leave too.
I love him, beyond reason. I do not know why I cannot go. I sincerely want everything to work out with him and I guess I am trying to put my money where my mouth is. If I want unconditional love, I have to be able to give love unconditionally. If I want a supportive partner, I have to be a supportive partner. If I want him to be a certain way, I have to also be willing to do/be that. That is my philosophy on life (Yes, this never really pans out for me in my personal life, but on paper it is a great philosophy.)
But, enough of that right now. I am really and honestly trying to focus on the positive. Like this weekend maybe unpacking some boxes. Baking a cake. Testing some recipes (I am a test kitchen for a cookbook-to-be.) Retrieving my cat from my mother's house and bringing him home. Getting rid of some stuff on Ebay. Maybe a ball game with the boy.
All good things.
~~~~~~~~~
Thesis Update: Revisions - stalled
Jeep - sold for almost a quarter of what I had wanted. Guess soemthing is better than nothing. And it is off the head of my very true friend that is dealing with it. As soon as I find a notary anyway...
copyright Kc @ 10:04 AM
2 Comments:
Me, I'd get cooking on the revisions, they should be simple enough KC. Waiting longer will not make the words flow any better.
On the DCS front, I'm not going to tell you that what you have expressed there perfectly encapsulates the hopes & dreams of almost every gal in a similar situation. It's almost textbook in the reasoning style. We can hope against hope that your trusting heart so dearly committed to this sorry soul will not be forsaken or abused. We all pray for miracles. Sometimes they do appear. Rarely do they come as 'changed men' who have truly seen the error of their ways and who make an equal commitment worthy of such faith put in them. It does happen. It takes some humility, real self knowledge, and a willingness to work together as a team to resolve outstanding issues. And history tells us that it's as common as hen's teeth. It's recalled mainly due to it's rarity. More love, understanding and sacrifice on your part will not help matters much. He has to make the decision to make the change, and from the sounds of it, he's eons away from such a realization.
I dearly wish that such misplaced faith so lovingly expressed were directed to a project more worthy than him, but in the meantime, I really think that the thesis needs your attention more. Good Luck with the cookbook. And I also hope the bloke is helping out on the rent so that you don't have to sell your blood too to maintain the household! Cheers & Good Luck! 'VJ'
He's doing rent entire. And car. I currently have no income, or vehicle. How's that for the old confidence? Plus he has a hugely paying job.
Getting back to the revisions this afternoon after I tidy some personal stuff.
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