The bouncing happy face

Okay, el gato has been diagnosed with the FIP causing coronavirus. But I will not freak out until he shows symptoms.


I dug through my luggage to find a bottle of prescrips that I thought I remember being there. Zoloft. Not prescribed to me, but people self medicate with alcohol all the time. So last night I popped one. I don't know if the placebo effect will kick in, and just the idea of taking a mood stabilizer will make me stabilize or the actual medicine will do it. I am not comfortable with taking medicines, so taking one that isn't even prescribed to me, is a bit weird. But there is only a month's worth in the bottle, and if it seems to help, then I will get out to the old doctor and get some legitimally.

I hate the idea of being one of "those people" on drugs, just to maintain an even keel, but some people need it, and it may be that I am one of "those people" right now. I am really hoping that this is situational malaise/blues/depression (I hate that word) and will dissipate as I pull my life piece by piece back from the brink of mental collapse (again too lady-like a visual, more like mental implosion) that I am currently flirting with.

In an effort to be personally involved in the rebuilding of myself and life, rather than wishfully hoping for it all to fall back together, I present for the committee's review: "The Better Kc Plan!"

Wait, Wait , Wait. We know you here, you have done this plan before.
No, really, that was just for losing weight. The is the new and improved "Better Kc Plan."
So, what's the difference then?

Well, it goes like this:
1. Drug myself into happiness (or at least away from mleh.)
2. Get my ass in gear at least 30 minutes five days a week (for that more natural endorphin boost)
3. Take lunches away from my data and enjoy the small dock (see, meditation aspect...)
4. Enjoy my little furry cat boyfriend as well as I can (the practice of appreciation.)
5. Enjoy one non data related fun thing a week (movie, event, out for a drink, social aspect.)
6. Feel triumphant for the small victories with my thesis, for each small victory brings me closer to the large one.
7. Be in better phone contact with my three ace girls at home (mental and social aspect.)
8. Try to find one small happiness or apprciation every day. One good thing about being where I am, while I am here.

So there you have it the Mind/Body/Spirit Better Kc Plan. Filled with simple things that I can accomplish, even among my limited resources of armpit island. Got more ideas that I should put into ze plan?

Feeling in control of something in your life, even if it is just a silly list like this, is uplifting and energizing and wonderful (that may just be the drugs talking.)


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Thesis Victories:
3/4 of the way through with the Matrix redo. I expect to be done with it (again) by the end of the week. My professor returns on Tuesday, so then we can chat about the next step. And I have begun writing. In fact, all I have left to put in is a section on ontogeny, the results,discussion and my appendices of tables. And voila. done. It is amazing to see all that I have left to do summed into one sentence. One very approachable, very easily broken down into manageable targets little sentence.

Random Victory for the "Other" program:
I was writing furiously for a term paper two nights ago. Write Write Write. At about 4500 words, I stop for the night. Yesterday, I write some more and outline what I need to put in it to make it to 10000 words. Happened to glance at the syllabus, only 500! Yay, so a month a head of schedule, I am essentially done with ze term paper. One big load off my back, let me tell you. So I am in the sprucing up of what I wrote stage.